I did the stupid things these past years.
I stayed away from my friends in real life or social media. I deactivated my social media accounts. I wasn't interested in them anymore. I isolated myself from the world.
.
Just because..
I didn't want my friends to see me in the worst condition.
I was too ashamed to show my face in front of them. I had a disgrace that I must hide and I didn't want my friends to know about them.
I was just a loser, you know.
I just.. I didn't have an answer if they asked me a lot of things about my life. I did nothing.
.
I was afraid with what'd you think about me, friends.
I was scared as hell.
I was in the worst moment. But I couldn't ask any help from you. I just.. couldn't.
So I kept this damn depression alone.
.
I needed a lot of time to accept myself.
I needed a lot of time to open up again, with you, friends.
But three until four years it's too much time of me to waste. I wasted my time just being afraid of my thoughts. That's stupid but I did.
.
A few months ago. I started to open myself up again. I activated my accounts. I made a new friends in social media. They're kind with me and very fun by the way. This was just my first step. I needed more time to face my real friends.
And I started to contact my friends again. They're very welcoming even if I distracted them. We enjoyed to chat, call, and hang out. We play together 'again'.
I miss them so much. I miss that moment a lot. Like there is something that missing in my life.
.
But.. now. I don't have much time.
I make the biggest decision in my life (you know what I mean).
And you know, I won't live in here again.
I mean, when I started to feel comfortable around my friends again, I must go and leave them behind (again?)
.
Now, I regret everything.
