I do nothing

I do nothing
The last time I remember was when I received my first bucket
until now I did nothing
I just breathe, so I'm still alive.
"Alive"?
I'm not sure.

I still keep the flower until now.
So I know how useless I am.

The flower has withered and dark
but stay standing, not even fall
I should learn from it.

Only this time I felt hollow
I try to create my own happiness, as someone said to me
but not as beautiful as the real happiness
I had to go to get it

I tried to break the silence in my life
with a run on hobbies or creating a new hobby
but it makes me bored
because this is not what I want *maybe*
So what?

I was struggling
but people don't see it
I fall up accordingly
but no one knows
I'm sweating
but no one noticed
because I just sit and relax
I burned
but no one is panicking
because I immediately treat my wounds
I fear
*not proven*
I cry
it should look in my eyes

I don't understand myself
No!
I really understand myself
therefore I'm very careful about her

I'm talking like I was two people
I'm just one.
I am Kharisma Widyastuti

*ceritanya lagi latihan bahasa inggris

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I Wanna be a Good Mother

Someday..
I'll get married and have children.
My children will grow up
If the time comes, I always be by their side.
I want to be a good mother to them.

I'll teach them how to be kind.
They'll know how to help others.
I'll always give them spirit.
I wouldn't let my children get lost.
I'll solve their problems.
I wouldn't let my children to be depressed because they can't solve the problems of life.
I'll let them help me, although it would be chaotic.
I wouldn't let my children feel useless.
I'll be proud of them, even though they never got an award.
I'll support their talent, even if it was not useful for their lives in the future.
I'll support what's their pleasure.

Of course I will give them privacy.
They can make friends with anyone, as long as the person doesn't make them hurt.
I wouldn't interfere with their problems.
They will share it with me if they want to.

And I want my partner to do the same with me.
Yes, their father must do it.

I want them to feel grateful to be born into this world. and have parents like us.

*[english version] maaf bila ada kesalahan dalam penulisan, sesekali aku ingin mempergunakan bahasa lain.

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